Grand Mom shares her 'happy ending tips' Print
Grand Mom
Thursday, Oct. 04, 2012 -- 12:00 AM

Grandmom column by Audrey Fixmer

Are you checking out the obituaries every day like Mark Twain did to see if you are on the list?

Or do you just average the ages to hopefully find some of the deceased are older than you? Either way, it’s a sure sign that you’re aware that you aren’t getting any younger. You are nearing the finish line. Ouch!

It’s not too late to plan for a happy ending to your life story. As a writer, I love happy endings and have been planning mine for a long time. I would like to share my “happy ending tips” with my readers.

  • This Christmas, wrap up a few of your little treasures and “gift” them to the kids. It will unload some of the clutter and eliminate the problem of the rascals whining later, “Mom promised that to me!”
  • If you’re like me, you are grateful for modern medicines that extend our lives and you’re trying to eat right and exercise, but you draw the line at being kept alive by machines or “extraordinary means.” Be sure to update your health care directives to make that clear. It’s a final gift to give your loved ones. Lord knows they have enough to worry about.
  • Select your funeral director for a pay-in-advance insurance at today’s prices. He will help you work out the details of the kind of service you want, the visitation, church, lunch . . . everything but the date. (We have to leave something for God to plan.)
  • By now you have probably given up most of your vanity, what with the mess Mother Nature has made of our skin, hair, and bodies. Keep up with the latest styles anyway so your kids have something smashing to hand over to the undertaker. And make sure your hairstylist is on-board, too.
  • Keep reminding God how much you appreciate the long life He has given you, and thank Him for His blessings. It’s been a sometimes-bumpy flight, but cozy up to the Pilot. He’s still at the controls, you know. Double up on your prayer life and Mass attendance. It’s time to cram for your finals.
  • Look for some good works you can still do with your dwindling energy: knitting baby caps for preemies, helping out at St. Vinney’s, taking a casserole to an overworked mother or ailing neighbor. It sure beats watching soap operas.
  • With all those funerals you’ve been going to, just remember to keep going out and making some new, younger friends. Otherwise there won’t be anyone left to go to yours and eat that funeral lunch you planned.

When people start telling me how nice it will be for me to see my husband again, I will know that they know that I am near the finish line. And I will probably think, yes, it will be wonderful to see Bob again, but will the feeling be mutual? Or will he think, “Oh, here comes my life-long director. I’ll bet she’s got a plan to make heaven more heavenly?”

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