Adapting to widowhood Print
Grand Mom
Thursday, Sep. 16, 2010 -- 12:00 AM

Grand Mom by Audrey Mettel Fixmer

I went on a guilt trip the other day. The store was only 20 miles away, and my partner in crime was a daughter-in-law with a flair for decorating.

I had been grumbling about my lower back pain whenever I sat for awhile in Bob’s chair or Bob’s sofa in my living room. (And these days sitting is my favorite activity.) Even though Bob had never lived in our condo, the furniture had been selected with his weekend visits in mind.

It’s been more than a year since he was in our house and six months since he moved into his heavenly splendor. I thought it was time to take care of my back.

When we entered the furniture store, I made a dash (slowly) for the Lazy Boys, and sure enough! They come in two sizes, one just right for my shrinking body. I shoved back to a reclining position, and voila! I was in heaven too.

On a roll

I was on a roll! "Before we leave here," I proclaimed, "I want to look at desks too." After clearing out more of Bob's books and clothes, I began to see my office becoming more of a place to relax.

I was finally comfortable with my laptop computer, now that I discovered a wireless keyboard and mouse and Microsoft Office 10, so I really could get rid of my old desktop computer. I could give Bob's big el-shaped desk to one of my grandsons and the computer to my two youngest grandsons.

The desk we found is beautiful maple and has a hutch for sorting my office supplies. Since it is built for a laptop, it has electrical outlets tucked into the drawers, so we don't need to look at cords dangling about. With the smaller desk I would finally have room in my office for a comfortable reading chair, and wait! Weren’t there Lazy Girls in three colors? Why not select another one for my office?

'Get over it!'

Of course, you know what happened. I had to fight my guilty conscience for the next three days. What was I thinking, spending all that money on myself? But it was all on sale: a Labor Day sale. I spent a lot of money, but I saved money too. I needed those chairs for my back pain. They have lumbar support where I didn’t have it before.

I spent three days preparing for the delivery of my new furniture by reorganizing my office with the help of my sons and daughters who supported me 100 percent. "Mom, you've spent 63 years putting your husband and kids ahead of yourself. Get over it!"

My son John was here taking the old desk and computer apart when the furniture arrived. He was as excited as I was, declaring my desk "the coolest desk I've ever seen!"

He left with my old computer for his boys, while I pushed back in my office recliner with Princess on my lap and a smile on my face, wondering why people like to talk about the losses we experience with old age and forget about the blessings.

God is good.


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