The best time to discuss faith in new relationships Print
Gifts for Your Soul
Thursday, May. 01, 2014 -- 12:00 AM

Gifts for Your Soul column by Jacqueline von ZwehlIt was a typical Saturday morning when I heard the phone ringing. Upon picking up, one of my closest friends began squealing, “It was the perfect first date!” I then spent the next hour listening to every magical detail of my friend’s date the previous night.

She met this lovely gentleman at a charity gala and they enjoyed each other’s company. He asked her out to dinner and apparently the night was a huge success. They both laughed at the same jokes, loved the same movies, and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.

As I was listening to this very excited description — with the underlying hope that a new relationship was blossoming — only one thought came to mind. Finally I asked, “What about faith? Is he also Catholic? Did you ask?” My dear friend’s response left me a little sad, “No I didn’t ask. I just felt it was too soon.”

The time to discuss faith

As a faith-based relationship expert, one of the first questions I’m usually asked is, “When is the right time to discuss my faith and beliefs when dating someone new?” I love this question because the answer usually surprises most people.

When you’re single, there is almost nothing more romantic than the hope of meeting someone new. Those initial butterflies in the stomach from instant chemistry to that smile which sweeps across your face when you realize you both have the same sense of humor.

The Lord gave us the gift of romantic love to share in a union of marriage. Most of the time the first step towards realizing that gift is meeting someone and having a first date. First dates can be fun, a little scary, stressful, an emotional roller coaster, and sometimes they’re pure magic. With all of these whirlwinds of emotions, the first date is also the perfect time to learn about someone’s faith.

Faith in a relationship

Faith is the foundation of a person’s soul and a couple’s relationship with the Lord. Faith is everything. Discussing faith during a first date is not unromantic, or too soon, but rather a clear indication you love yourself and know what is truly most important in your life.

I gently shared this advice with my friend and reminded her to trust God in her journey. If this is the right relationship, discussing faith early on will only bring you closer together. If this is not the right person, this discussion will allow you to move on before your heart becomes entangled and you risk really getting hurt.

Gift for Your Soul

Today’s Gift for Your Soul: As you celebrate the Easter season, and perhaps find yourself praying to the Lord to bless you with a loving partner in life, remember you are already unconditionally loved. Take comfort in Psalm 9:10 “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”


Jacqueline von Zwehl is a leading faith-based relationship expert and award winning author. She is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC), has a BFA from NYU, and an MBA from Pennsylvania State University. Jacqueline has appeared on national TV and radio programs across the country. The Prayer, A Love Story is her award winning debut book. To learn more visit: www.jackievonzwehl.com