Families: The love that binds

		Living the Scriptures  with St. Paul University  Catholic Center  Fr. John R. Auby

As we reflect on the readings for the Feast of the Holy Family, we may find ourselves thinking about our own families.

We might even find ourselves feeling some guilt or disappointment. Our own families - those from our past, as well as those we have now - haven't lived up to the kind of holiness that we hear about in the readings and that we ourselves have hoped for.

And yet, we have feelings of joy and gratitude because we know that even with shortcomings, there is a great deal of goodness in our families. We see evidence of and experience kindness, respect, and obedience in our daily lives.

Feast of the Holy Family (Dec. 26, 2004) Sir 3:2-6, 12-14 Ps 128:1-2, 3, 4-5 Col 3:12-21 or 3:12-17 Mt 2:13-15, 19-23

The challenge for us might be: What might we do with our feelings of guilt or disappointment to make our families happier and more holy? As we come to the end of this year, all of us can take some time to look into our hearts, to see ways in which we have not lived up to God's call for us to be holy.

When have we failed to show compassion and understanding in our relationships with others? When have we failed to be kind, and more humble?

We can ask for forgiveness and make amends. We can make a commitment to allow God to change our lives in this new year.

It is never too late for a parent to apologize to a child for times when they have been unreasonable. It is never too late for any of us to tell the truth about something, that we lied about, and that may have hurt someone else.

Some of us, as parents, husbands or wives, or as children, have a hard time sharing our feelings, but this is an opportunity to tell those special people how much we really do love them.

We can look at any grievances that we have and try to forgive, as God forgives. It is easy for us to love those who are loveable. The challenge is to love the difficult people in our lives: a parent we feel failed to love us in the way we needed them to; a child whose behavior hurts others; a spouse who doesn't seem to be as committed to the relationship as they once were; or a friend who has betrayed us in some way.

We are challenged to: "Bear with one another." To bear something or someone means to endure. It may mean that we might have to suffer a little, and that isn't easy. To bear also means to give birth, as Mary bore the child Jesus in her womb.

As we bear with the difficult people in our lives, those not easy to love, we actually begin to give birth to them, as the kind of people God created them to be. In the process, we become more like the kind of people God created us to be. There is great joy in that.

To live as God has called us to live binds families together with the gift of love. We look to the Holy Family, not as an exact model for how our families should be, but as a point of reference, as we all continue on our own journeys to God.

The Holy Family probably spent time, just as we do, reflecting on their life as a family, on their relationships, and they too probably struggled at times to be faithful.

We come together to celebrate the Eucharist, as a community of families. We share the gifts that God has given us and in communion, we live as one people in God.

	Reflection questions • Reflect on your most precious family moments: the birth of a child, a wedding, or holiday. Is it the event itself or the togetherness you value most? • Does family mean togetherness, just as church means community?

When we realize and acknowledge that we are all related and belong to the same human family, we will make choices to help us live as God created us to live - loving and respecting one another, those in our own families and those in our human family.

When we gather at the table of the Lord, we bring our struggles, our hopes, our differences, but in the end, we find common nourishment in Christ.

Fr. John R. Auby is pastor of St. William Parish in Janesville. He is an alumnus of the UW-Madison.

St. Paul's Web site is www.stpaulscc.org

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