Editorial

Love and marriage. The old song says they go together "like a horse and carriage." But today - in the era of planes, trains, and automobiles - love and marriage don't necessarily seem to go together.

Couples appear to have trouble making a commitment to one person. They date many people and can't seem to settle down. If they do find someone they like, they often live together, postponing marriage.

For those who do marry, the divorce rate is high. And now there is even a national debate over the very definition of marriage and whether it should include same-sex unions.

The institution of marriage is in trouble, that's for sure. Is there anything we can do to save it?

More than legal contract. Personally, I believe love and marriage go together. But this marriage should be more than just a legal agreement.

Perhaps that's the problem with marriage today. Couples consider getting married as a contract (think about those pre-nuptial agreements), a business arrangement to share benefits and provide for offspring.

If that's all there is to the marriage, it's no wonder there are so many divorces. The husband and wife in such a marriage think they can dissolve their "contract" by walking away from the other person. No big deal.

Sacrament of Matrimony. Instead, I think we must recover our understanding of marriage as a sacrament. The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines the Sacrament of Matrimony: "The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; the covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament."

Marriage, the Catechism points out, is part of God's plan of creation. In fact, the Scriptures begin with the creation of man and woman in the image and likeness of God. God himself is the author of marriage. God who created man out of love also calls him to love - the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. "And this love which God blesses is intended to be fruitful and to be realized in the common work of watching over creation," says the Catechism.

Couples who understand marriage as a sacrament realize they should make vows in church to declare their love before God and their faith community. These couples will strive to be faithful to one another and be open to children. They will nurture each other, their families, and people in the community as they face problems and challenges in life, fulfilling their call to love their neighbors as themselves.

What might happen in a world filled with sacramental marriages? I would predict happier marriages, fewer divorces, and less confusion over the definition of marriage. Love and marriage would be back together again.

Mary C. Uhler, editor

Mailbag

To the editor:

Ardeen Goetzen, a former Mennonite minister, did his thesis on the subject of divorce among Mennonite ministers and their wives. His conclusion was that "The Catholic Church has got it right."

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His research led him to understand the frustration of some Mennonite ministers' wives with their husbands' responses to their calls about their congregation needs. The wife felt there was a conflicting call to respond to their own family's and marriage's needs. These conflicts led in some cases to divorce.

We have an important role for married men - to be Godly husbands and fathers and if they are called, qualified, and committed - to also serve God's people in the permanent diaconate in the Roman Catholic Church.

It would serve us well if we prayed for our priests who do serve us as single, chaste pastors of the flock. We pray that they realize as Pope John Paul II said about marriage being a lifelong work in progress, the priesthood, too, is a lifelong work in progress.

Many married people are attacked, deceived, distracted, and tempted to consider another way than their vows have committed them to for life, just as some priests are. But this does not mean that their original call was wrong.

It's always greener on the other side. A lifelong journey without ongoing reinforcement or full positive support from the people you are most committed to makes another way seem more appropriate or attractive.

In Corinthians 7:33-35 we hear that God would like us to be free of anxieties: that unmarried persons are concerned how they may please the Lord, but married persons must be concerned with how they may please their spouses. They are divided in how they may serve the Lord and their spouse.

The married deacons in the permanent diaconate program are reminded that they received the Sacrament of Matrimony first, before they receive Holy Orders, so they have a first priority to their marriage before their commitment to the diaconate.

We are not diminishing married life or single life by calling men to the priesthood as single persons. We are asking them to "know what you want - be willing to pay the price."

There is a role for married men in the Church and it's time for increased respect for their role as Godly men. There is also a legitimate call for single men to the priesthood. Many a wife could plead for these men not to have the two masters to serve; one will not be loved or served as well as the other.

Jack Fernan, Madison

Clothing at church disrespectful

To the editor:

I am absolutely shocked by the way some people dress when they attend Mass at our church, many of them in short shorts. They have no respect for the Holy Eucharist.

This same lack of respect also applies to some of the people in various ministries, including ushers, readers, musicians, and Eucharistic ministers.

To me it is very disgusting to see a Eucharistic minister standing at the altar in shorts and distributing Communion wearing shorts. There is no respect at all for the Eucharist.

Am I the only person bothered by this disgraceful and disrespectful display?

George H. Boerke, Madison